Dating at Work - A Guide for Women Who Want Serious Relationships

Your Job can be great for your career and personal life.

The Case for Workplace Romance

It goes without saying that we all need to be mindful of how we conduct ourselves in professional settings. But let’s face it—the average person will spend 90,000 hours of their life at work. That’s a third of your lifetime, including some of your best years. Meanwhile, the average person only spends 8,800 hours socializing with friends over their entire lifetime.

If we’re spending that much time at work, why are we shutting the door on meaningful connection in the one place where people consistently show up as their best selves?

YOU Are the Chooser

Quick sidebar: I write for empowered women who understand they are choosing from the best and are not waiting to be discovered. I write for women who aren’t afraid to admit they desire serious relationships or marriage and want to choose from a high-quality pool.

If that sounds like you, read this NOW!

Prime Hunting Ground

Contrary to popular opinion, I see nothing wrong with two consenting adults meeting at work and choosing to pursue a relationship. It’s hard to meet good people these days.

Why should you shut out the place where you spend a third of your life—where people often show up as their most polished, driven selves?

Besides, both men and women are increasingly burnt out from dating apps. According to Forbes, 79% of Gen Z users are experiencing dating app fatigue—and older generations aren’t far behind.

The constant swiping, ghosting, and surface-level interactions have left many feeling disillusioned with modern dating.

If fewer men are approaching women in real life, which seems to be the case, and you’re out of school and deep into your career, why would you skip out on work as a prime place to meet a potential partner?

If you’re someone who values a partner with ambition, intelligence, and a similar career trajectory, work is one of the best-curated environments for mate selection.

Think about it…

Your workplace—especially in industries like tech, finance, law, and consulting—has already done some vetting for you. It selects for ambition, pedigree, work ethic, and social competence—qualities that are much harder to assess in a random stranger from an app. Of course, this doesn’t guarantee compatibility, but it does give you a strong starting point.

That said, dating at work requires strategy, discretion, self-control, and self-respect.

Here’s how to do it the right way.

1. All or Nothing

Do not use work as a place for hookups, affairs, or ambiguous entanglements. If you’re looking for something serious, only entertain men who demonstrate long-term potential. Work is not the place to rack up a roster—or a reputation. As the saying goes, “Don’t sh*t where you eat.”

2. Take It Slow

Don’t rush. Observe first. Take your time to build friendships and understand company culture before making any moves or accepting any dates.

Just because someone passed HR’s hiring process doesn’t mean they are a good person—or the right match for you.

Start as friends. Engage in group settings and watch how people behave. Who is genuinely interested in you? Who aligns with your values? Only then should you accept a first date.

Once you start dating, continue pacing yourself. And even then, because this is a work romance, take things slowly before getting emotionally or physically attached. A man who is serious about his career, reputation, and YOU will understand and respect your selectiveness. In fact, he should be using the same strategy on you.

3. No Physical Intimacy Without Expressed Commitment

No situationships. No guessing games. No blurred lines. Before anything progresses to the bedroom, he must clearly state his intentions and follow through with consistent action. No vague “we’re seeing where this goes.” Official titles only.

This isn’t just about avoiding heartache but protecting your reputation. We all like to think we’re progressive, but let’s be honest: no one wants to be known for having “dealings” with multiple colleagues. Workplace dynamics are not as modern as we like to pretend. Your reputation matters. Keep your standards high.

4. Keep It Quiet, But Not a Secret

A relationship only feels scandalous when people suspect secrecy, deceit, or ambiguity. I’m not saying make a grand announcement, but if someone asks, own it: “Yes, we’re dating.”

Give the relationship the respect of proper titles—he is your boyfriend/partner, not “someone you’re seeing.”

Avoid dramatic workplace dynamics and displays, but don’t act like you have something to hide. Clarity removes unnecessary chatter.

5. Know When to Inform HR

Workplace policies have changed post-#MeToo. Before moving beyond friendship, check your company’s policies on workplace relationships. The last thing you want is to become someone’s “little secret” or find yourself in a policy violation.

6. Be Extra Cautious with Clients & Superiors

Workplace dynamics become even trickier when it comes to clients and superiors.

Clients: Avoid dating your own clients altogether. If a colleague’s client is involved, proceed with extra caution; build a friendship first, and take extra time to evaluate the situation before moving forward. Check company policies.

Bosses & Superiors: If your potential partner falls within your reporting structure, don’t do it. It’s too risky. If you’re serious about each other, ask to be transferred to another team. But even then, I’d be extremely careful before putting my career on the line for something uncertain.

A Subordinate: Please don’t bother.

7. Leverage Your Network (Colleagues’ Friends Are Fair Game!)

Not feeling comfortable dating a coworker? Your colleagues’ friends are a potential alternative.

They likely share similar values, career paths, and social circles. The same rules apply: start as friends, observe closely, and take things slow before accepting a date or progressing futher.

The modern dating landscape is not great—so why ignore one of the most natural places to meet a partner? Ignore what anyone thinks, and look out for yourself and your future!

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop a comment below—what’s your take on dating at work?

Don’t hesitate to seek help! I’d be happy to work with you 1:1 on any aspect of your dating journey.