How To Have Success On Dating Apps

Dating apps don’t have to be a hellscape.

As much as we’d all love to return to the days of meeting people through friends, at a cozy bookshop, or during an intimate dinner party, the reality is that most people meet on dating apps now. Until the trend shifts and men start approaching women in real life again, your best chance to meet someone new is through an app.

Yes, dating apps have earned their bad reputation, but at the end of the day, a good guy is a good guy—no matter how you meet him. Instead of stressing over the bad apples or worrying about the stigma surrounding apps, focus on optimizing your experience to find the good ones. After all, it only takes one.

Reality Check

If you think you're too good for dating apps, consider this: your dream guy might be on one right now, meeting someone else. Men don’t overthink it—they use every avenue available to meet women. Don’t limit your chances of meeting the right person by believing you’re too rare or special to be on an app, especially if you haven’t been approached or asked out in the past month.

If men are lining up to ask you out in your daily life, then by all means, stick to what’s working. But the reality is, most men rarely approach women anymore. They’ve been conditioned to think it’s inappropriate or unwelcome, and dating apps make the process easier for them. Don’t let outdated hang-ups hold you back from exploring all your options.

Choosing the Right App

Since 2013, people have been calling Tinder terrible—but I had a great experience with it. In fact, I met my husband, Alessandro, on Tinder, and before him, I connected with several other high-caliber potential matches. These men were educated, intelligent, successful, fun, and genuinely interesting.

I’m not here to advocate for Tinder or any specific app but to show that your experience on any app can differ from someone else’s. The key is to find what works for you.

If you’re serious about finding someone special, it’s all about meeting as many potential matches as possible. That means being on the app with the largest pool of people. Personally, I’m not a fan of overly exclusive apps—they limit your options. The more men you meet, the better your chances of finding the one who’s right for you.

Mindset Matters

Take dating apps seriously, but keep it light. Don’t treat every match as a potential husband—think of them as options. Your goal is simply to choose who you’d like to chat with and potentially meet. Set realistic expectations: aim for a good conversation with a good guy.

That said, be intentional. Show up, put in your best effort, and be authentic. You’re trying to attract normal, quality men, and the best way to do that is by signaling that you’re a normal, intentional woman looking for the same.

7 Tips to Implement for Success on Dating Apps

1.

You need nice, current pictures of yourself.

I asked my husband and his friends, and they think that ultra-sexy or no-picture profiles belong to bots or escorts. Aim for photos that show you fresh-faced, looking like someone's daughter. Photos that signal that you are a real person who comes from a good family. Remember, you want to meet normal men who also come from nice families, are emotionally stable, and are future-focused.

2.

You need to write about yourself.

Give him something to grab onto. You want him to read your profile and start to picture himself in your life. In my profile, I wrote, “I love summer and all that it entails.” My husband loved that because he loves summer, too. A tidbit like that gets people thinking of fun and happy moments and gives them something to ask you about.

Now is not the time for inside jokes and sarcasm. A blank profile signals you take yourself too seriously to try or are uncomfortable with being vulnerable.

3.

Don't lie.

If you have a child, share it. If you’re deeply religious, let them know. If you have one leg, own it. Be upfront about the things that matter because you want to attract the right people and filter out those who aren’t on the same page.

That said, don’t dive too deep too soon—let them earn the right to your most intimate details. The goal is to be authentic and clear so the right person recognizes your signals and knows you’re exactly what they’re looking for.

4.

Avoid being overly clever, snarky, or trying too hard to be witty in your profile.

Men often roll their eyes at these sorts of profiles because everyone’s doing it, and it can come across as insincere. Instead, focus on being real and a little vulnerable. Trust me—authenticity stands out and will attract the right kind of men.

Users on 'X' highlighted these six dating app profiles to show how many women sounded the same.

5.

Delete and Block with Abandon.

Weird men will always show up—they cast a wide net and try their luck with everyone. It has nothing to do with you or your worth; it’s just what they do. Don’t let it discourage you.

At the first sign of lewdness, disrespect, or nonsense, simply delete and block. Don’t waste your energy arguing or trying to correct their bad behavior—it’s not worth it.

If it ever feels overwhelming, take a break from the app to recharge, but don’t give up entirely. Don’t let a few bad apples ruin your chance of meeting the right person. Your future and happiness are too important to let them stand in the way.

6.

Nip things in the bud.

I had a girlfriend who always had the most outrageous stories from her dating adventures. Her profile picture was a bit too sexy, and she kept giving shady men the benefit of the doubt. Guys would say wild, inappropriate things, and yet she’d still go on a third date with them.

Don’t be like that. Set your standards, stick to them, and hold out for the normal, respectful guys who actually deserve your time.

7.

Apply Soft Pressure

When you finally meet a normal man, be real. If he can’t handle your authenticity or your heart, it’s better to know early on. You don’t want to discover six months into dating that he’s not capable of getting real or isn’t looking for the same things as you. Be upfront about who you are and what you’re seeking.

When I was asked on dates what I was looking for, I’d simply say, “I love relationships, and I’m looking to be in one.” Saying this is nothing to be ashamed of—it doesn’t make you sound desperate.

In fact, it signals to normal, intentional men that you’re choosy. You’re not aimlessly dating randoms or wasting your time on countless casual dates. You’re a woman with purpose, dating with intention, and that’s incredibly attractive to the right man.

End

Follow these seven steps and stay focused. Don’t let bad stories or podcast bros discourage you—there are normal, good men out there. With intention and persistence, you’ll find the one who’s right for you.

Work With Me

If you are at a crossroads in your dating life and need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to book a 1:1 session with me. You’ll immediately get an experienced and objective person to chat and strategize with.