An intimate and revealing interview of Senior Vice President of Global Communications for Vera Wang, Priya Shukla

The world is big and has so much to offer us, but obstacles such as distance, culture and fear often stop us in our tracks. It requires a certain fierceness, clear vision and stone cold drive to make the life of your dreams and to take what's meant to be yours. Priya Shukla is the living embodiment of this and she does it in four inch heels, making friends and connections along the way. If you follow her on Instagram you think you are following a lucky woman whose life is glamorous, full of exotic travel, a luxurious wardrobe and the perfect family life. But none of this was given. All of it was dreamt, planned and strategized for. None of it is kept without careful nurturing.

I've known Priya for 14 years and admit she has a way of making things look easy, but in the many conversations we’ve had about family, life, career and love I can say that underneath the veneer of perfection reveals an incredibly astute, careful, focused and intelligent woman. We met working for Polo Jeans Co. (remember that?) I had just moved to New York and was working as an account executive and she as the executive assistant to our president. She always had a bright smile and a good story, two things we should all strive to always possess. We bonded over our love for 90's supermodels and Princess Diana, discussing restaurants, culture and New York City life. Both unmarried and ambitious, neither of us knew where life would take us but we knew we were going somewhere.

Priya was born and raised in Sydney, Australia to traditional and strict Indian immigrant parents. She graduated from the University of Sydney with an economics degree but was unclear about exactly what she wanted to do with it. Like most people she was interested in America and the opportunity and independence it could bring her. Ever the strategist, while on holiday in Los Angeles she cold called a variety of entertainment companies and PR firms to inquire about internship opportunities. When I look at where her career has led her, I always think back to a critical decision that she made right after her stint at Polo Jeans. She had begun working for Burson-Marstellar, a highly reputable global communications firm. She was doing well and had developed a rapport with the firm’s founder. But Priya confessed that she didn't feel that this was was the right path for her. She had interviewed at Vera Wang for a role as Vera's assistant and thought she should take it. I thought she was crazy. My child of immigrant's mind favoring the name-brand firm, large and corporate (Oh how I've changed). But she followed her instinct. The results of those cold calls made on a holiday trip to Los Angeles, along with following her gut lead Priya on a journey that has brought her to the White House, to the Met Ball, to some of the most famous and glamorous weddings and opportunities to give back.

Where did an Indian-Australian, New York City transplant get the confidence to hob-knob with the global elite? I sat down with my best friend and the current Head of Global Communications for Vera Wang to discuss making moves as a young woman, the advantages and disadvantages of our ethnic backgrounds, career, and marriage.

Coming from a traditional Indian background can you talk a bit about your career choice and your decision to move to the U.S. all the way from Australia. I imagine your parents had other ideas for you and what you should have been more focused on.
I'm not going to lie, it was really hard as my parents were dead against my move overseas. In hindsight I know they were worried and trying to protect me, but my gut told me I was making the right decision. I love my family and we have a close relationship, but at the time I craved more freedom of choice, independence, space to experiment and find my own way. I needed distance and perspective and being on my own overseas provided me that. I was serious and focused, I wasn't moving away to let my hair down! I was moving away so I could establish my career and my life on my own terms.

Did you always want to be in PR?
I honestly wasn't sure what I wanted to do, even after I graduated I remained unclear. I intentionally chose a degree that cast a wide net and would allow me some flexibility. I was drawn to fashion, entertainment, the arts but I wasn't certain what exactly.

So how did you do it? Its a huge undertaking, moving across the world for anybody but particularly if your parents aren’t keen and helping you fund it. What were you telling yourself to stay motivated and not be discouraged or let the fear take over?
Once I finished university, I planned a vacation to LA and NY with friends. I had a bit more time in LA and made it point however to meet with some companies while there. That sounds like I was some kind of big shot but I had literally cold called companies I was interested in and asked to meet anyone who was available for coffee. I felt so nervous making those calls, but I figured I had nothing to lose. I had started to become particularly interested in the fashion industry, especially the business side of things. I targeted small to medium boutique fashion PR firms and to my surprise, a handful of them responded and agreed to meet with me purely as an informational conversation. My goal was to somehow impress one of them into hiring me. There was one company I felt the most synergy with and they happened to be looking for an intern. I jumped at the chance and said I'd do whatever it takes to make it work. I had a part time job throughout university so I had to use nearly all my savings to arrange my work visa and to live in LA but I had to bet on myself that this would all somehow work out. That's something that I've had to tell myself throughout my whole career: why should someone else bet on me if I won't bet on myself? The internship turned into a full time paid position and that's how my career in fashion began.

What aspects of your Indian heritage were you able to lean on during the move and while alone in the US?
I will say that Indians have an amazing work ethic and my parents certainly instilled that in me.‎ I credit that for all that I have. My parents were immigrants and I was always taught that things of value do not come easy, to not be afraid of hard work and that only good can come of giving your all. Additionally, Indians tend to be very family oriented and this has helped me retain a sense of connectivity with my family overseas. Even though we are on separate continents and in different time zones, we prioritize keeping in touch and we talk and message constantly.

Priya Shkula at her Upper East Side living room. Image by Marta Skovro McAdams

After a few years you decided to move to NYC. How did you know it was time to leave LA?
NY just felt more "me". I loved the energy, the ambition, the whole vibe of New York. LA was a great stepping stone for me and a wonderful place to cultivate some experience but New York is where most of the fashion industry is headquartered so it was always my ultimate goal. Once I arrived here, things started falling into place. My first job was in event management, then I worked for one of the licensees of Ralph Lauren, had a stint at the PR firm Burson- Marsteller and then landed at Vera.

You've been at Vera for more than 10 years. Such longevity in one place isn't common in this day and age.

Vera is truly inspiring to me for a number of reasons: she's a minority, she's a woman, she's innovative and she's a great leader. Not a lot of fashion brands are independently owned anymore and she still owns this brand. We have developed such a strong relationship. She's really been a wonderful mentor. In terms of the work, my role has grown and evolved so much over the years so I've never felt bored. I started as her assistant and worked my way up. Not a lot of companies offer real opportunities for growth so I've had no reason to leave.

What does it mean to be SVP of Global Communications?

In a nutshell, I formulate, implement and manage all long term press strategy and corporate communications. I manage all celebrity/VIP partnerships and dressing including red carpet and weddings. Last but certainly not least, I oversee the company's philanthropy.

That's quite extensive. What's your favorite part of your job?
I just really love working on weddings. Being a part of someone's happiest day never gets old, it's always joyful and gratifying. I also enjoy helping Vera with her philanthropy‎. Vera uses her position to give back and that is inspiring and uplifting to me.

You've built a vast network and great reputation. There are so many people in Public Relations but you've managed to stand out. Can you talk about how you made big things happen for yourself.

It sounds trite, but I try to always be nice. This global industry can still feel small and people don't forget. Kindness goes a long way. Then in terms of standing out, you just have to literally show up. At the start of my career, I used to feel self conscious attending industry events on my own but I'd force myself to go. It ended up being such a game changer for me, it forced me to make new friends and acquaintances. And at the end of the day, a lot of people initially feel strange, awkward and alone at these things. Once you realize that it makes things far less intimidating.

What specific traits do you feel contributed to your career success?
Having a positive mind set is key. It's not always easy to do so and I work on it constantly, I do positive affirmations daily and try to meditate. I also believe that you have to take risks and accept that everything won't work and that failure is ok. It's all part of learning and growing.

Your job sometimes has you meeting celebs and famous people during award season. Do you still ever struggle with self doubt or feel awkward or uncomfortable?
Not really. I think where I feel the most anxiety is in getting the job done and making Vera happy so I channel my worry and energy into that.

I never know what to say when I meet a famous person. Am I supposed to ask them what they do as if I don't know who they are? What tips would you give our readers for when they are introduced to a famous or highly notable person?

(Laughs) I always try to just be myself and be honest. If that person has been in a film, written a song or created something that moved me, I will tell them that. I think even for celebrities it takes a lot to put themselves out there. In fact, I sometimes feel bad for the amount of intense scrutiny ‎celebrities are subjected to, especially these days. I also try to follow their lead, if they seem open and comfortable to chatting, then I will. If they look hounded and stressed, then I'm not going to add to it.

OK continuing along this train, something I've always felt you were great at is maintaining relationships with people you've met. If you've met someone important how do you develop the relationship?
By being proactive. If I run into them again I will always reintroduce myself. Life gets hectic, we meet so many people, it's hard to keep track. Don't be shy to do that. If someone gives me their card, I will give them mine or I will e-mail them the next day. If there is a business opportunity I will try to arrange a meeting, even if nothing immediately comes from it you never know where you can cross pollinate in the future.

Living in NYC, working in fashion, going to so many events, being constantly surrounded by fashionable people how do you keep from spending every single dime you earn on clothes and resist the pressure to keep up?
But I do spend a lot on clothes (laughs), it's my one vice and indulgence! But I have to be realistic, living in NY is expensive‎. I try to invest in wardrobe staples that last and as I've gotten older, I'm less drawn to 'trend' pieces anyway. I also think it's more interesting to mix high and low end. Then I sell pieces to Designer Resale stores once I feel I am done with them and that's been really helpful on my wallet but also on storage and closet space. My life keeps changing and my shopping adjusts to that. For instance I have a toddler who treats me as a human napkin so my clothes need to be able to withstand a different type of wear and tear. For example I'm not wearing $600 pants to school drop off. But I will invest in a beautifully tailored blazer or outerwear that will last several years and is more of a timeless piece.

How do you define your sense of style?
Overdressed! I love clothes, I love putting in effort and I'm so much more comfortable being overdressed than underdressed. I feel like I've dishonored my host if I show up to their party or event not well put together! I love accessories: hats, headbands, gloves, sunglasses, jewelry, belts, hosiery, you name it‎! I honestly find it hard to put a name to my sense of style because I tend to dress based on mood rather than occasion even.

How has having a daughter changed or affected you?
We've definitely had to re prioritize our finances as we are paying for school and setting money aside for college. Education is a huge priority for both my husband and I and we want to do all we can to ensure our daughter has every opportunity available to her. I've also had to learn how to delegate more at work so I am able to be more present for my child. I still work really hard, but in the past I would just do a task myself rather than assign it to someone else, I've had to find a happy medium. That's been a necessary lesson for me and it's honestly a skill that every executive needs to have. You can't have a good handle on the big picture if you are caught up and stressed about the small stuff. I've also become very mindful of what my daughter sees in terms of books, films, tv, just representation in general. She's a minority, as she grows up, life will (sadly) often make her feel different or 'less than'. I want to equip her with a strong sense of self from an early age. We read children's books about race and identity, we watch movies and cartoons that feature people of color in lead roles, we go to the ballet to see Misty Copeland dance, I enrolled her in a pre school that has a diverse student body etc etc. I want her to see and identify with women of color in leadership roles from a young age.

Your husband is in finance. You're both incredibly busy and managing careers. What are some ways that you keep your marriage a priority?
I know its cliché but we have a standing date night once a week. We try not to talk about kid related things. We do that so we can stay connected, once you have children it's so easy for your lives to just revolve around them, you forget how to function as a couple. I always say marriage is like a living organism, it needs constant care, love, nurturing and attention. It's that old adage "marriage is hard", it sure is, but anything worth having comes with work.

Your virtues
Orderliness. I like everything to be super organized, clean and tidy. It's become more intense since I had a child, I plan everything in advance.
Peacefulness. I'm able to maintain a sense of inner calm. It's something I value and work at. Even if it means carving out 30 mins a day for myself so I can go to the gym or for a walk, it's necessary. A lot of people snooze until the last minute, fall out of bed and stumble into work. More power to them for being able to be functional like that, but before I had my daughter I would wake up in the morning and have a coffee. Just sit quietly with myself. It was important to do something for myself before I gave myself to the world.
Honesty. Truthfulness‎ in actions always. Its not always easy when conversations can be difficult but I always try to be honest.

Your vices?

Dessert. I never turn it down. And shoes, I have a problem.

A negative experience and what it taught you?

I grew up with a difficult and overbearing father. It was hard at the time but I now look at the experience as a positive as I'm not easily cowed by difficult personalities and I can hold my own in politically charged environments.

Something about yourself that would surprise people
I love Star Wars.

A quote that exemplifies your views on life.
Gratitude is my attitude.

You can find Priya at:

Instagram: instagram.com/priyadeluxe

Priya Shukla, The Public Relations Mastermind

Ajiri Aki, Madame de la Maison

Bijou Abiola, The Fashion Exec with U.N. and Harvard Business School ties